


If I Run Out Of Songs To Sing

by torakowalski



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Blowjobs, First Times, Fitz needs someone to look after him, M/M, handjobs, season two spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:51:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2501807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torakowalski/pseuds/torakowalski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz is almost one hundred percent sure that he and Mack are friends, but he’s eighty percent sure that friends don’t share beds.  Still, that's what keeps happening, and he's not exactly complaining.</p><p>(Contains some spoilers for AoS 2x05.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Run Out Of Songs To Sing

**Author's Note:**

> I was a little bored at work today and a lot inspired by this weeks Agents of SHIELD and then... this happened. It turns out I ship then rather a lot.
> 
> Thanks to Foxxcub and Nerdwegian for letting me spam them today!

As soon as Simmons leaves the lab - probably gone to see Skye, or Triplett, or someone else who’ll know how to welcome her back properly - Leo goes to find Mack.

It’s late. Mack is sitting on his bed, reading a book. It looks tiny in his hands.

“Hey,” Mack says, when he sees Leo. He smiles and puts down his book, focusing all his attention on Leo. “You okay?”

“Simmons is back,” Leo says. He’d meant to ease into that, or possibly he hadn’t meant to say it, at all.

Mack’s smile gets smaller. “That’s good, right?” he asks. He sits up and swings around, putting his feet on the floor, like he’ll get up and come to Leo, if Leo needs him to.

Leo folds his arms across his chest. He knows he’s hunching his shoulders, but he can’t get them to relax. “I don’t know,” he says.

Mack pats the bed beside him. “Come sit,” he says. “What’s on your mind?”

Leo sits. He doesn’t talk though, and for once it’s not because he’s lost the words, it’s just because he doesn’t know what he wants to say. In the end, he sighs. “I don’t know,” he says. 

Mack puts his hand on Leo’s back. It’s big and warm and supportive, but Leo jumps.

“Sorry,” Mack says, taking his hand back.

“No, no,” Leo says. He doesn’t think he can reach over and make Mack touch him again, but he wants to. “People don’t… do that.”

“Comfort you?” Mack asks.

Leo snorts. “No, they do that. Simmons is very… Was very... ” He twists his fingers together, useless fingers that used to be so good. “People don’t touch me.”

Mack hums softly, like he’s thinking. “Don’t you like it?” he asks.

Leo shrugs. “I don’t mind it,” he says. 

He’s half hoping Mack will put an arm around him or something, but he doesn’t, just leans back on his elbows and says, “So, Simmons.”

“Yup,” Leo says glumly. He wonders if he could lie back on Mack’s bed too, that looks comfy, but he’s got too many sharp corners to be good at comfy.

Mack tips his head back and looks up at the ceiling. “She’s the girl you like,” he says, not quite a question.

“Maybe,” Leo says. He doesn’t mean it like that. Of course he likes Simmons, he’s only ever liked Simmons, but he’s mad at her too. He digs his fingernails into his palm, annoyed that he doesn’t even know how to begin to explain that. “It’s different. She… Hydra…”

“Sometimes you gotta do things you don’t want to do, for the greater good,” Mack says.

Great, now Leo’s mad at him. “I should be her greater good,” Leo snaps. He rubs his forehead, suddenly exhausted. “Sorry.”

Mack reaches down the bed and plucks the back of Leo’s shirt between two fingers. Leo looks over his shoulder and scowls at him. “Go get some sleep,” Mack says. “You’re cranky when you’re tired.”

“I’m always cranky,” Leo mutters. He must have noticed that by now. 

Mack laughs. “Fine,” he says, sounding like he’s being indulgent. “I’m gonna read you my book, then.”

Leo looks at the cover. It’s an engineering textbook he thinks he read when he was fifteen. “If you must,” he says.

***

Leo wakes up with his head in the space between Mack’s pillow and the wall. Mack is a ridiculously big wall of human at his back.

Smacking him in the arm doesn’t do much good, so Leo turns around and pokes him in the chest. Obviously he sleeps shirtless; why wouldn’t he when he looks like that?

Mack mutters something in his sleep and reaches up to catch Leo’s hand, squeezing it before giving it back to Leo.

 _Oh_ , Leo thinks while his heart starts pounding. He curls his hand and rubs his thumb along the back of his fingers. Mack’s hand was hot and they feel branded.

“I need to go,” Leo mutters, sitting up. He has to scoot down the bed to get out, and it takes all the dexterity he has to do it without waking Mack. It’s stupid to feel pleased when he manages it, but he does. 

He slips out of Mack’s room, and almost collides with Simmons, of course he does, why wouldn’t he?

She smiles, but her eyes narrow. “Fitz!” she says. “Did you move rooms?”

“No,” Leo says, and doesn’t give her any more of an explanation than that. It’s still more than she gave him, before she left him.

“Okay,” she says slowly. “Well! There you are, anyway. I came looking for you, but I couldn’t find you.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Leo says. “Are you all right?”

Her smile gets softer. “I’m fine,” she says. “I was just talking to Skye and Trip and Bobbi - have you met Bobbi? Really, Fitz, she’s magnificent - and I realised you weren’t there.”

 _Did it take you all this time to realise?_ Leo thinks. “No, I wasn’t,” he agrees. He reaches out to move her to one side, but can’t do it, can’t touch her. “Excuse me.”

She doesn’t move, and it’s stupid to get upset because of Simmons, Simmons is never going to hurt him, not deliberately, but Leo still feels trapped and it’s getting hard to breathe.

“Please let me go past,” he says.

Simmons steps up to him instead, all warmth and concern in her eyes. “Fitz,” she says, “what’s wrong?”

The door opens behind Leo’s back, before he can decide if he really does need to push her out of his way.

“Hey, out here,” Mack says, yawning. He looks sleep-creased and solid and Leo feels his anxiety drop. 

“Gosh,” Simmons says, staring at him. Then she blushes. Then she looks at Leo, like she’s putting two and two together and making pi. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Mack says. “Doctor Simmons?”

“Jemma, please,” Simmons says. Her eyes are still very wide, and Leo wants to cover Mack’s chest. Mack’s chest is his to gawp at or… something else. Not that. Definitely not that.

“Al MacKenzie,” Mack says. 

“It’s _lovely_ to meet you,” Simmons says. 

“Yup,” Mack says, which is maybe the least friendly Leo has ever heard him be. He jumps when Mack puts a hand on his arm, then jumps more when Mack asks softly, “Where’d you go?”

Simmons makes a tiny, squeaky sound.

“”I just… air,” Leo says. He means he wanted some before and that he doesn’t have any now, but apparently none of that matters, because Mack draws him back into his room.

“Good night,” Simmons calls. When Leo turns around towards her, she gives him two thumbs up and meaningful eyes.

“Why did you do that?” Leo asks, as soon as the door has closed behind them. “She’s going to think that we’re… that there’s… that we’re _doing stuff_.”

“She might think that,” Mack agrees. He throws himself back down on the bed and beckons to Leo. “Come on. I’m tired.”

Leo is confused. He’s almost one hundred percent sure that they’re friends, but he’s eighty percent sure that friends don’t share beds. He crawls into the bed anyway, turning his back to Mack.

One of Mack’s giant arms folds loosely across Leo’s chest. If Leo squints, all he can see is bicep. It shouldn’t be reassuring - intelligence is a better protection than brute force and Mack has both - but it is.

***

Leo wakes up exactly as he went to sleep, Mack’s knees against his calves and Mack’s breath on the nape of his neck. Leo’s back is sweaty from the heat of Mack’s chest, and he squirms, turning around.

He means to sneak away again - more successfully this time. He works for SHIELD; he was trained in these things - but Mack is smiling in his sleep.

Leo frowns, confused. True, he’s never woken up in someone’s bed before, but he’s sure people aren’t usually happy, while they’re sleeping.

He touches the corner of Mack’s mouth with two fingers, trying to work it out.

Mack’s eyes open, and his smile widens. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Leo says, snatching his hand back. “I should be going.”

“Okay,” Mack says, letting go of Leo straight away.

It’s that that makes Leo hesitate. If Mack had tried to hold him back at all, he would have left, but Mack just continues to be peaceful and easy, like a never-ending well of calm that Leo is allowed to draw from.

“You’re very confusing,” Leo tells him. 

Mack laughs. “Am I?” he asks. “I thought I was pretty simple.” He puts his hand over Leo’s on the mattress, and gives it a squeeze. And huh, no, that’s not simple, that’s not simple at all.

This is the sort of moment where Leo wishes his Simmons hallucination would turn up and tell him he’s being ridiculous. But she doesn’t, so there’s no one here to stop him when he leans down and puts his mouth on Mack’s.

Mack kisses him back straight away, which is nice, much better than being left waiting. Except that Leo hasn’t kissed anyone since Year Six and that was only a dare (not his dare, her dare), and he’s not sure he’s doing it right. 

Mack touches Leo’s chin, tipping his head up a little and suddenly the angle is much better; Leo might understand the appeal of kissing.

He pulls back, peering down at Mack. 

“Okay?” Mack asks. He’s not supposed to be checking on Leo. If he’s checking on Leo, how is Leo supposed to check on him?

“I’m okay,” Leo says quickly, because of course he is. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve never been better,” Mack says and his smile is strangely disarming. Leo isn’t sure how he’s ever supposed to have any defences against him.

“I’m going to do that again,” Leo warns. “Test the uh… test the…”

“Hypothesis,” Mack says. “Good idea.”

“It is,” Leo agrees, pleased. All his ideas used to be good, but at least he can be sure of this one.

Mack curves his whole hand around Leo’s cheek, thumb stroking the line of his jaw. It makes Leo shiver and then he can’t stop shivering. He presses closer, opening his mouth when Mack’s tongue is suddenly there, pressing against his lips.

Leo tries sucking on Mack’s tongue, and Mack makes a deep sound in his chest. His other hand presses gently against the back of Leo’s head, which is nice for a second, until Leo starts to feel trapped.

He shakes his head, and Mack’s hand falls away. “Sorry,” he murmurs into Leo’s mouth, before Leo has to explain why he didn’t like that. 

Leo shakes his head again, meaning _let’s not talk about it, let’s kiss_ , this time. He’s getting the hang of kissing. Mack keeps making happy noises, so Leo might be good at it. He hopes he is.

Feeling daring, he decides to do something with his hands that isn’t clutch Mack’s arms hopefully. He puts one palm on Mack’s chest, right in the middle. His skin is warm and smooth and fascinating. Leo could touch it for hours, would quite like to map it.

Then Mack wraps an arm around Leo’s waist and rolls them onto their sides, and Leo blinks and realises he’d like more than that. He pulls on Mack’s shoulder, hopefully.

“What do you want?” Mack asks. He leans up on his arms, holding himself up over Leo. There are muscles everywhere, tiny little hills and valleys. Leo definitely wants to map him.

“Well, right now, I want to touch your arms,” Leo says, distracted. He scowls at himself, because no, that wasn’t what he wanted. “Come here?”

He thinks he’s making it perfectly clear what he wants - for once, he really is sure of that - but Mack frowns. “I’m far too heavy for you,” he says.

“Let me be the judge of that,” Leo tells him and pulls on Mack’s shoulder again.

Mack swings a leg over Leo’s so he’s on all fours, leaning over him. Leo uses one arm around the back of Mack’s neck to pull himself up for another kiss. Mack braces him with both hands on the small of his back, and Leo wonders if he’s always been this attracted to strength or if it only came about when he turned out to be so utterly incapable of looking after himself.

“What do you want?” Mack asks again. He sounds shaky, but not uncertain. Breathless maybe? Leo thinks the word he wants is breathless.

Leo has no idea what he wants. He wants to get closer and feel more, but when it comes to specifics, he’s drawing a blank. “Don’t ask me that,” he says, because he hates saying _I don’t know_ more than anything.

“How do you want to feel?” Mack asks and kisses the corner of Leo’s mouth.

“Like that,” Leo says, and even he knows that makes no sense.

“Lie down,” Mack says. Leo doesn’t exactly lie down as get lowered there by Mack, but it works the same and then Leo is lying in a nest of Mack’s duvet and Mack is leaning down toward him.

Mack kisses Leo’s throat, which makes him gasp, and his collarbone, which tickles. Somehow he must know that Leo will feel skinny and awkward, if he has to bare his chest, so he kisses Leo’s nipple through his shirt.

Leo squirms. He’s getting used to not having the words to describe how he feels, but this time he doesn’t think he would have anyway. It’s all so new. 

Mack’s mouth is gentle on Leo’s stomach, and the very top of his hipbone, and Leo doesn’t say anything, when Mack puts his hands on his trouser zip.

“You know you can tell me to stop?” Mack asks.

“Why on earth would I tell you to stop?” Leo asks, genuinely confused. “Everything I’ve ever heard leads me to believe that oral sex will be very… um. Very.”

“You’ve never had a blowjob before?” Mack asks, lowering Leo’s zip. He curls his hand around Leo’s dick through his underwear, stroking his thumb over Leo’s balls before pulling his dick free.

“No,” Leo says. Or he tries to say it. He thinks he manages the _N_ sounds, but then Mack takes him in his mouth and he gives up. Mack’s lips are hot and damp and tight and Leo’s meagre command over his own brain disappears into nothing.

He suspects it’s supposed to take him longer to come than it does. In fact he’s certain it’s supposed to take more than a dozen slow licks from Mack’s tongue and the feeling of the head of his dick meeting the back of Mack’s throat.

It doesn’t.

“Oh my god,” Leo murmurs and spills into Mack’s mouth, hot and cold flashes running up and down his limbs, numbing his fingertips and making his mind go blissfully empty for a second.

Mack kisses Leo’s lower belly then pillows his head on Leo’s stomach, while Leo catches his breath.

Eventually, when Leo can move again, his flails his hands around, carefully touching the top of Mack’s head.

“Is it my turn?” he asks, trying to sound confident. Luckily, he has a lot of experience at that.

Mack looks up. His mouth looks puffy and his expression is soft, washed completely calm. “No, that’s okay,” he says. “I’m okay.”

“You’d be better after an orgasm though, wouldn’t you?” Leo asks. It makes Mack laugh, which he likes to hear.

“If you’re sure,” Mack says. He rolls onto his side, then slides up the bed to kiss Leo’s cheek. Leo turns his head and kisses his mouth, instead. Then he leans back and squares his shoulder. He can do this. Learning is all about doing.

Leo licks his lips. “I don’t suppose your penis is disproportionately small?” he asks hopefully.

Mack laughs again, catching Leo by the back of the neck and pulling him in so their foreheads press together. “I get that you’re gonna be stubborn about this,” he says. “But I actually prefer handjobs.”

Leo narrows his eyes. “You’re lying,” he guesses.

Mack shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. I’m telling you what I want.”

Leo opens his mouth then closes it again. Simmons would be angry with him, if he weren’t a gentleman in bed. Not that she’s ever going to know about this. Well, not in detail, anyway. When he’s less angry with her, there may be a little gloating. He isn’t a very good person.

“Okay,” he says. “But next time?”

He doesn’t know why that earns him another kiss, but it does, a deep, fast kiss that leaves him reeling and shaky, when he reaches for Mack’s pyjama bottoms.

Leo fumbles with the drawstring the first time, suddenly reminded of his lack of fine motor control. “I’m going to be clumsy,” he warns, as though Mack doesn’t work with him every day. “My hands don’t…”

“Good job I don’t have anything small or delicate in there, then,” Mack says and grins, when it takes Leo a second to parse the joke. Leo blushes then pushes his hand into Mack’s trousers.

Mack definitely doesn’t have a disproportionately small penis, but it feels nice in Leo’s hand: warm and hard like the rest of him, and much less intimidating than he was expecting.

“Your hand feels good,” Mack murmurs, hips arching off the bed and pushing his dick against Leo’s palm. Leo makes a tunnel with his hand, letting Mack thrust through his fingers and squeezing on each upstroke. 

For the first time, Leo feels like he fully understands exactly what’s happening. He leans over Mack, watching his long eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, his tongue flick out to wet his lips. “Did you know you’re very attractive?” Leo asks, thoughtfully.

Mack’s laugh sounds painful, and he curls toward Leo, toward his hand and his mouth. Leo feels powerful; it’s been a long time since he felt like that.

“Really, you’re ridiculously good looking,” Leo says. “Why aren’t you in bed with one of the others?”

“Because…” Mack trails off, groaning. Leo isn’t sure what he did right, just then, but he tries to do it again. “Because I’m in bed with you.”

“But - ” Leo starts then stops himself. He doesn’t need an hallucination of Simmons to tell him that he’s sabotaging his own potential happiness, here. 

“Fitz,” Mack gasps, and coats Leo’s fist in hot, hard pulses. Leo doesn't need to think for once, just acts on instinct and pulls him in close. 

Mack relaxes against him all at once, mumbling something into his shoulder. 

“What did you say?” Leo asks, surreptitiously wiping his sticky hand off on the duvet. 

Mack repeats whatever it was that he said, but his face is still smashed into Leo’s skin and Leo still can’t make it out. He likes the feeling of Mack’s weight against his side too much to ask him to move and repeat himself, though.

Leo feels sleepy and calm, which he heard happens after sex, but always assumed wouldn’t happen to him. He leans into Mack and wonders what will come next.

What comes eventually, is that Mack rolls away, and reaches for his phone. He fiddles with it for a minute then drops it on the floor and sprawls against Leo, again.

“Hunter’s taking my shift,” he says, making himself comfortable, and wrapping an arm around Leo’s waist.

“How did you manage that?” Leo asks. He’s slowly getting to know the new people, and he knows Hunter doesn’t like mornings.

Mack smiles, lips turning up against Leo’s skin. “I have lots of blackmail material,” he says. “It works wonders.”

“Are we doing this again?” Leo asks. He knows it’s a non-sequitur, but he’s learnt recently that it’s better to know upfront what to expect, rather than to think you mean one thing to a person and find you didn’t mean anything at all.

“As many times as you like,” Mack says. “Or as few. I’ll still be your friend, either way.”

 _Friend_ , Leo thinks, embarrassingly pleased. “What about what you want?” he asks. That’s important. Apparently you can’t just browbeat people into wanting the same things as you.

Mack pushes up onto one arm, looking down at him. “Haven’t you worked that out, yet?” he asks.

He looks fond, Leo thinks. Maybe something more than that. “No?” Leo tries.

Mack doesn’t roll his eyes like Leo was expecting. He just meets Leo’s gaze and says, “You.”

“Oh,” Leo says and carefully doesn’t ask why. “You too, I think. I mean, I’m almost sure. This was very nice. I just have to um, to… to _recalibrate_ my brain a little.” Away from Simmons and towards Mack. He doesn’t think it will be too hard.

“That’s okay,” Mack says. He lies back down, propping himself up on his elbow so his face is just above Leo’s. “Let me know.”

Leo thinks about Simmons, who he almost lost, and Ward, who he never had, about Skye, who he just got back, and Hunter, who may almost be a friend now, too.

“I’ve decided,” he says, and closes the gap between them to kiss Mack as hard as he can.

/End


End file.
